Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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