tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
