Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
