Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
