Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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