So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
