you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
