This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
