if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
