The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
