I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
