im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
