I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
