dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
