I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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