Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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