she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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