Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
