my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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