Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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