Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
