I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
