went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
