I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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