idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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