Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
