their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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