your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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