butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
