garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
