It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
