i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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