I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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