dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
