Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
