I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
