Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
