you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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