i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
