I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
