Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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