theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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