this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
