first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
