I need help removing her.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
