Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
