He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
