just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
