The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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