Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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