I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Are we still banned from the library?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have fence marks all over my body
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
