Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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