Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
