Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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