We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
false alarm, still single
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
